Lovitz Beats Dick and Bud

First Jon Lovitz beats up Andy Dick, and now he beats up Bud Selig. At least this time Lovitz only used his words.

Erin Andrews interviewed comic Jon Lovitz during last night's Giants-Dodgers game on ESPN. (Why, I have no idea.) Speaking of the Barry Bonds-steroids scandal, Lovitz said that if Selig claims that he didn't know steroids existed in the game, he is 'full of crap".

Now maybe it's just coincidence, but that's two times that Lovitz has been in the news since he signed his lifetime contract to perform every Wednesday night at the Laugh Factory. For those of you keeping score, that's two more times than he's been in the news the last ten years. It looks like the publicity machine is in full motion.

Here is what "funny"-"man" Jon Lovitz had to say about Bonds. (Thanks to Neil Best of Newsday for the transcript.)

"I think he's the best hitter ever. All this talk about steroids is a bunch of crap. About seven years ago I was talking to a major baseball player in the league and I said, 'How many players take steroids?' And he said, '40 percent.'

"I'm not saying whether he took them or not, all I'm saying is the league totally allowed it, and anyway, whether he took it or not, out of all those players, three guys hit a lot of home runs - three. So obviously that's three out of 300 taking it. That's not the difference.

"The guy's just a great hitter. How many people get that many walks? He works the pitcher. Usually the pitcher is ahead of the batter, but this guy, he's ahead of the pitcher. He's unbelievably great. He was taught by his father, Bobby Bonds. He was taught by Willie Mays. Willie Mays was maybe the greatest player ever. Now he's the greatest player ever. It was Willie Mays himself who said he could be one of the greatest ever. If you've got Willie Mays saying you could be the greatest ever if you take it seriously, that's what happened and he started taking it seriously.

"The league is complaining about it and yet, you know, attendance is way up, a lot of it because of Barry Bonds. Wherever he plays, he sells out the stadium. So it's completely hypocritical.''

"Bud Selig, if he says he didn't know, is full of crap. If he didn't know he should resign, and if he did know, he should say, 'Yeah, I allowed it, so what?' But for him to say he didn't know, how did I know seven years ago and he didn't? Hello? Thank you.''

"I think he's one of the greatest hitters ever and I think it's fantastic. I think it's a shame he's getting booed everywhere. I think it's a wonderful thing to see. It hardly ever happens. And Hank Aaron is still as great as ever and Babe Ruth still is as great as ever. It's no reflection on them at all. It's another great guy. It's fantastic. If it wasn't for Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron, those guys set the bar. Everyone shoots for that. You can't take it away.''

Poll Results: What will be the next sport dragged into the steroids scandal?

The issue of steroids in sports was all over the news in July. From Barry Bonds, to golf, to the UFC, to the Tour de France, it seemed as if not a day went by when the topic didn't come up at least once. So last week, EBTG offered an online poll, asking you, "What will be the next sport dragged into the steroids scandal?"

The people have spoken and the results are in. Oddly enough, 12% of the voters said that the Bassmaster Tournaments will be the next sport dragged into the steroids controversy. I am not sure how steroids can give you an edge here, but perhaps if the fish were given steroids all sorts of weight records would be broken.

The largest percentage of votes went to the AFL, which just celebrated ArenaBowl XXI. Personally, I find this hard to believe. If these guys were taking steroids, wouldn't they be in the NFL?

Soccer 6 (24%)
Arena Football League 10 (40%)
Lacrosse 4 (16%)
NASCAR 5 (20%)
Bowling 2 (8%)
Bassmaster Tournaments 3 (12%)

Kazakhstan Rider Latest Tour de France Drug Suspect

Yawn. Another day, another sports scandal. The LA Times is reporting that yet another Tour de France cyclist, Alexandre Vinokourov of Kazakhstan, has tested positive for blood doping. As a result, Vinokourov's team, Astana, has withdrawn from the Tour.

Somewhere in the distance, Borat sheds a tear.

from Diane Pucin of the LA Times

It is as if this Tour de France is being competed in clown cars instead of on bicycles.

Tumbling out of that crazy car Tuesday came swashbuckling fan favorite Alexandre Vinokourov, the blond from Kazakhstan who had won two of the last three stages while riding bandaged and bloodied from a first-week crash.

Vinokourov had a positive test for blood doping on his first, or "A" sample, after his inspiring victory in Saturday's time trial. The story first appeared Tuesday on the website of the French sports newspaper L'Equipe and was confirmed by Tour officials at a news conference in Pau during the three-week Tour's second rest day.

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A Scandal for Every Sport

In the past few weeks, there has been a major scandal in almost every major sport. The NFL has the Michael Vick indictment, the NBA has the referee point shaving scandal, MLB has the Bonds steroids issue, the UFC lightweight champion tested positive for steroids, and the WWE is dealing with the Chris Benoit tragedy. The PGA even got into the action last week when Gary Player said that golfers are taking steroids.

The only sport that is missing a major scandal is the NHL. Oh, that's right, it was only a couple months ago that Chris Simon used his stick to try to take the head of off Ryan Hollweg of the Rangers. It's funny how quickly we forget these things.

UFC Lightweight Champion Tests Positive for Steroids

A day after Gary Player accused fellow golfers of taking steroids, it was announced that UFC Lightweight Champion Sean Sherk has tested positive for steroids. Sherk's opponent at UFC 73, Hermes Franca, also tested positive.

Now that Golf and MMA have been dragged into the steriods scandal, what will be the next sport to take the fall? See our poll in the right hand margin of Everything But the Game.

Gary Player Claims Golfers Taking Performance Enhancing Drungs

Gary Player, in an interview with the BBC, revealed that he knows of fellow golfers taking performance-enhancing drugs, and called for random drug testing in the sport. In fact, Player claims that two golfers told him personally that they are taking drugs to enhance their performance.

"I know for a fact that some golfers are doing it," said the South African, who won nine majors in his career.

Player goes on to say that he himself had rejected offers from doctors to take Human Growth Hormone (HGH). Player has been told that by taking HGH, he can expect to hit the ball 20 to 30 yards further.

It is now naive to think that only football players and bulky home run hitters are taking steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. If drugs are part of golf, can we assume that any sport, other than perhaps bowling, is drug free?