Lovitz Beats Dick and Bud

First Jon Lovitz beats up Andy Dick, and now he beats up Bud Selig. At least this time Lovitz only used his words.

Erin Andrews interviewed comic Jon Lovitz during last night's Giants-Dodgers game on ESPN. (Why, I have no idea.) Speaking of the Barry Bonds-steroids scandal, Lovitz said that if Selig claims that he didn't know steroids existed in the game, he is 'full of crap".

Now maybe it's just coincidence, but that's two times that Lovitz has been in the news since he signed his lifetime contract to perform every Wednesday night at the Laugh Factory. For those of you keeping score, that's two more times than he's been in the news the last ten years. It looks like the publicity machine is in full motion.

Here is what "funny"-"man" Jon Lovitz had to say about Bonds. (Thanks to Neil Best of Newsday for the transcript.)

"I think he's the best hitter ever. All this talk about steroids is a bunch of crap. About seven years ago I was talking to a major baseball player in the league and I said, 'How many players take steroids?' And he said, '40 percent.'

"I'm not saying whether he took them or not, all I'm saying is the league totally allowed it, and anyway, whether he took it or not, out of all those players, three guys hit a lot of home runs - three. So obviously that's three out of 300 taking it. That's not the difference.

"The guy's just a great hitter. How many people get that many walks? He works the pitcher. Usually the pitcher is ahead of the batter, but this guy, he's ahead of the pitcher. He's unbelievably great. He was taught by his father, Bobby Bonds. He was taught by Willie Mays. Willie Mays was maybe the greatest player ever. Now he's the greatest player ever. It was Willie Mays himself who said he could be one of the greatest ever. If you've got Willie Mays saying you could be the greatest ever if you take it seriously, that's what happened and he started taking it seriously.

"The league is complaining about it and yet, you know, attendance is way up, a lot of it because of Barry Bonds. Wherever he plays, he sells out the stadium. So it's completely hypocritical.''

"Bud Selig, if he says he didn't know, is full of crap. If he didn't know he should resign, and if he did know, he should say, 'Yeah, I allowed it, so what?' But for him to say he didn't know, how did I know seven years ago and he didn't? Hello? Thank you.''

"I think he's one of the greatest hitters ever and I think it's fantastic. I think it's a shame he's getting booed everywhere. I think it's a wonderful thing to see. It hardly ever happens. And Hank Aaron is still as great as ever and Babe Ruth still is as great as ever. It's no reflection on them at all. It's another great guy. It's fantastic. If it wasn't for Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron, those guys set the bar. Everyone shoots for that. You can't take it away.''

Evidence World Cup Quidditch Game was Fixed

I found this disturbing article today on Phil Birnbaum's Sabermetric Research blog. If a Quidditch game can be fixed, a World Cup Quidditch game no less, what chance does society have?

There's been a lot written about game-fixing in basketball lately, but not much about an obvious game fixing episode in World Cup Quidditch.

Quidditch is played on flying broomsticks by two opposing teams of seven players. There are two ways to score. A goal counts as 10 points, and is achieved by putting a soccer-ball sized "quaffle" through the other team's goal hoop. Meanwhile, a magical golden ball with wings, called the "snitch," flies throughout the area of play, trying to elude the players. Catching it scores 150 points, and ends the game.

In Harry Potter's fourth year at Hogwarts, the Quidditch World Cup pits Ireland against Bulgaria. Ireland takes a commanding 170-10 point lead. Then, Bulgaria's Viktor Krum catches the snitch, ending the match. Ireland wins, 170-160.

Why did Krum throw the game by catching the snitch?

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The Strikeout Homerun

Of course, you've seen a batter strikeout and get to first base safely when the catcher drops strike three. You might even have seen a batter or two get to second when the ball is thrown past the first baseman. But I am pretty sure you've never seen a batter strikeout and come all the way around to score. While the other team is in the dugout. Well, now you have.